Top Ten Video Game Badasses
There are some bad mother SHUT YO MOUTH! in video games. Putting players in the shoes of someone who seems to pull off the impossible like another day at the office is something developers have been doing forever. If a game makes me feel like a badass, then it wins my heart. Here we go.
#10 Mario — The original. The granddaddy of ‘em all, if you will. Mario started it all. Think back to his first appearance. He defeated a freaking gorilla. Then he beat the shit out of a giant dinosaur/turtle hybrid about a billion times — which reminds me of this little video. We must tip our hats to the one who started it all.
#9 Sagat — The King. Everyone gets a little worried when your opponent on Street Fighter 4 picks this guy because you know he is going to tiger uppercut your face right the f*** off. And that scar on his chest lets you know he’s been there and killed that. It’s good to be the king.
#8 Max Payne — His name is freaking Max Payne. That qualifies him for this list alone. The creator of bullet time. This dude has seen some shit. His family was murdered by junkies and then, to beat all, he gets framed. Then he has to take down the Russian Mafia. Boy, if I had a nickel for every time that happened to me… Anyway, if you get shot up too bad just pop some pain pills. Got to love that. I’m excited for the next installment.
#7 Chris Redfield — Chris Redfield is a zombie’s kryptonite. He has killed more zombies than well… death. Even his sister is badass. It’s in his freaking genes to be a zombie genocidist son of a bitch. Plus he hit the ‘roids for the fifth installment of Resident Evil. Some people like Leon better, but I’d take Chris any day.
#6 Agent 47 — Much like Clint Eastwood, this man has no name. He tried to leave the killing business, but they pulled him right back in. So he’s back doing what he does best: killing you. And when he can’t do it silently, he just breaks out his “ballers,” the twin nickel plated guns, and goes to town on your ass.
#5 Dante — The man is half f’n demon. His guns are named Ebony and Ivory and never have to be reloaded. Not to mention his swords. And God help you if he goes “Devil Trigger” on your ass. Dante always has a nice little one-liner for you too.
#4 Kratos — He killed a god. ‘Nuff said.
#3 Solid Snake — Snake easily could have been my number one. The MGS series are my favorite games of all time. Hideo Kojima can tell a story like no other developer in the business. How many times does Solid Snake have to save the world from a giant nuclear warhead equipped robot before he gets the respect he deserves? There is only one reason this badass isn’t number one and you will find out why when you read on.
#2 Duke Nukem — Duke was created to be the epitome of everything macho and badass. He is over-the-top and meant to be that way. He drinks beer, smokes cigars, and allegedly nailed Lara Croft. Duke Nukem Forever may never be made, but Duke will forever live on in our hearts. I salute you, Mr. Nukem.
#1 Big Boss — Big F***ING Boss. Big Boss is the only reason Solid Snake isn’t number one. With no Big Boss, there is no Solid Snake. Called the greatest soldier of the 20th century, this man completed the greatest military mission in history and killed his mentor to do so. After losing an eye, might I add. Big Boss is the baddest man to ever live. To hell with Chuck Norris and anyone else. Big Boss created CQC and taught Revolver Ocelot how to be Revolver Ocelot. While he may have changed sides late in his career, he was still the greatest. He was so good that a virus was created to kill him just to keep his DNA under wraps. As I’ve said before, the ending of Metal Gear Solid 3 tears me up every time. *salutes*
13 Responses to “Top Ten Video Game Badasses”
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NK Flickr!
That’s a pretty gay mario.
lol
Metal Gear heavy?
Killing God, should automatically put Kratos at #1, ITS FUCKING GOD. A GUY WHO IS SUPPOSE TO BE IMMORTAL, AND YET, KRATOS OWNS HIS SHIT AND TELLS HIM TO SUCK HIS DICK. #1 Material right there sir.
fanboy
You forgot Ryu, Sonic, and Sephiroth. BTW MGS CAN SUCK IT SON
What about Link!?
Great list… But how can you miss Samus ? The Chick rolls into a ball just to stick a bomb up your ass !!! thats talent right there…
Gonna have to call this list fanboyism. You have NO MK characters. No Liu Kang, Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Johnny Cage, etc. ONE of those is on that list, whether you acknowledge it or not!
And Big Boss isn’t the only reason Solid Snake isn’t #1, because Duke Nukem is in front of him also.
Putting Big Boss and Solid Snake one and two would have been kind of redundant. And it’s not fanboyism. It’s an opinion article. Write your own top ten list if you don’t like mine. And Big Boss is ahead of Kratos because Kratps had to use special powers and blades of chaos. Big Boss had his bare hands.
To Josh I say “Sephiroth? Lol, the man was a woman looking emo bitch.” Also, you seem to be forgetting one
Ryu Hayabusa.
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